Musings of an Irate Author

As the 'great and wise' Brandon Sanderson once said: "If you don't believe what I'm telling you, then ask yourself this: would any decent, kind-hearted individual become a writer? Of course not."

He's totally right.

Author's do not become authors to make the world a better place, okay? For the most part, we write because we like to, we need to vent, or we need an outlet for our sarcastic comments. Or a combination of all three.

We also have short tempers (well, at least I do, as well as most of the author's I've met). Irritation is something that comes easily to us, the kind that makes you throw your keyboard against the nearest wall when Microsoft Word keeps auto-correcting a word you keep typing that should not be corrected. We're time bombs where the fuse is reoccurring and inaccurate; bombs that have a tendency to blow up over and over again, therefore denying the laws of science (don't tell me you've never wondered where science-fiction authors come from).

For instance: I stayed up all of last night/morning to read a KICK-TOAST fanfic (Narnia) called Across the Worlds by Star Dragon Fire (READ IT!!!!!!) and it left off without finishing the story; she hasn't updated it! The same thing happened with emeraldteardrops' Lost Chronices of Narnia: the Beast of Witherby; she hasn't updated it in almost TWO MONTHS!*

(*Another thing about us writers: it should be noted that many of us are bleedin' hypocrites. I myself left off a few fanfics for a few months...But that's not the point!)

Yes, we may be grammar Nazi's at times. And yes, we do have a tendency to 'occasionally' abuse caffeinated beverages. In fact, we even have a nasty little habit of saying things that everyone else is thinking but no one is rude and blunt enough to actually say it.

But really, we're just a bunch of irate curmudgeons who don't know the meaning of '8 hours of sleep' and 'no caffeine'.

So, I guess the point is: UPDATE YOUR FANFICS, PEOPLE!!!

Another One?

Well, since I'm just crazy about consistency, *rolls eyes*, I've started ANOTHER fanfic. Now, before you reach for sharp object and/or firearms (depending on your personal tastes), here's the basic gist of the story:

Title: My Lady the Pirate
Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Hey, why not?)
Genre: Adventure/General Swashbuckling
Rating: T (violence, Shakespearean insults--they're more fun than usual insults--and the usual brouhaha)
Characters: Susan, with a little bit of Edmund/Lucy/Peter/Caspian/Reepicheep/Trumpkin in other chapters. Mostly Susan, though.
Summary: Slightly AU. After being backed into a corner in an air raid, Susan ends up, once again, in Narnia, where she becomes captain of the Sherwood and sets out to free Narnia of pirates. Susan the Gentle becomes Susan the Fierce, Narnia's sea-faring Robin Hood. Meanwhile, Peter, Lucy, Edmund, Caspian and a few others get together to try and find Susan, who apparently went missing without a trace, and bring her back. (But she's having waaaay too much fun for that.)

Til the Fat Lady Sings

Well, I'm back after my week-long ban from the computer. I've since updated Summer With the Cullens, A Cullen Story, and Dawn of the Personality-Challenged Power Rangers. And I've also put up a new story, a Stargate Atlantis one-shot called 'Til the Fat Lady Sings.

Til the Fat Lady Sings
Going off-world to an uninhabited snow planet to investigate energy readings, Sheppard explains snow sports to the team...with an example, of course.

Well, I've been frantically reading and writing fanfic (especially writing) since school will start to go haywire in January; testing, testing, assignments, testing, (did I mention testing?) So I'm trying to tie up some of my fics (I also need to do two more Cullen season stories, Fall and Winter).

Well, that's the quick update. Oh! Before I forget, I've started working of Psychosomatic, the sequel to Psychic. I know, it's a bit premature (since I still have to edit the first one, a task I'm dreading). And I've also started going through the little bit of a fantasy novel (creatively known as Untitled_1 for now), since I found a complete plotline for it the other day.

The fun never ends.

Long Live The Psycopath

Well, today is my official one-year anniversary for writing/posting fanfic! As promised, here are all the links to my fanfics (with summaries):

1. The Angel Experience (Maximum Ride)
Kat is a human-tigris hybrid: part human, part Bengal tiger. When she escapes Itex at the cost of her mentor's life and meets Max and the flock, can they trust her, help her to avenge the death of her mentor, and bring down the place that ruined her life?
2. Spring With the Cullens (Twilight)
The Cullens are your typical American Vampire family. They're just an ordinary family with lots of issues. With a few twists. Hippie Carlisle, Civil War Anniversaries, hormone-injected cows, sneaking blood behind the house, momness; the list goes on.
3. Translator (Power Rangers)
Sydney has always understood her teammates better than anyone else did. A look at the team dynamic, from Sydney's perspective. Syd/Bridge friendship.
4. School's Out--For Now (Maximum Ride)
Sequel to Angel Experience. Max is captured, and the flock needs help to get to her. Where else to go than Kat in Seattle? Crazy hacker/inventor Chi Kit, a very bored Max, and Fang trying to lead.
5. Summer With the Cullens (Twilight)
The Cullens are at it once again. Road Trips, summer jobs, fish tanks, and summer camp, Bella is once again caught up in the madness. Whether it's hiking or just watching TV, the Cullens have a knack for trouble. And, as usual, she's right in the middle.
6. Dawn of the Personality-Challenged Power Rangers (Power Rangers...obviously)
What's happening to the SPD rangers? Sky thinks he's a Broadway star, Z thinks she's a lawyer, Jack thinks he's the star of a sitcom, Sydney is a goth-girl treehugger--can our newly germaphobic Bridge Carson solve the mystery and sort of save the world?
7. My Roommate Is a Wraith (Stargate: Atlantis)
After a very unusual experience of being in a Hive cell with three Wraith, John Sheppard unwittingly offers assistance if he's ever needed. He has no idea what he's getting himself into. But the Wraith might not be as bad, or as different, as he thought.
8. A Cullen Story (Twilight)
All 10-year-old Jasper wants for Christmas is a Replica Stonewall Jackson Civil War Confederate Rifle BB gun. The response, from his brother Edward, his foster parents, his teachers, and the pretty Mary Alice from 2 streets over: You'll shoot your eye out.

You can find my fanfic page here, if you want to.

Oh, and today is reveal day, so EVERYONE WHO VISITS THIS PAGE, LEAVE A COMMENT, PLEASE!

Psychosomatic

I'm horrible. I know. But I honestly couldn't help myself.

So there.

I just started writing Psychosomatic, the sequel to Psychic. I know, I know; I have to edit the first one and all; I will, I swear, but Psychosomatic is NOT going to wait. Hello multitasking.

Anyway, in case you haven't checked it out yet, I started posting A Cullen Story, and I'll be updating again REAL soon.

Oh, and my fanfic-writing anniversary is on the 11th this month, so I'll be doing another post then as well, with links and summaries to my stories, as well as updating every single one of them (*gasp* Shocking, I know).

That post will count as a Reveal Day. Everyone who visits this blog for that post, LEAVE A COMMENT. I've been seeing the most amazing places showing up on the blog map, and I want to meet you guys!

Well, lots of writing to do if I have to update everything soon.

Ciao.

IT'S ALIIIIVE!

Well, Psychic is in the final stages of the first draft, and I've officially reached the 50K line for NaNo. All I can say (as much as I love my book) is: finally!!!

On that note, another Twilight fanfic is underway: A Cullen Story. This is basically a redo of the classic 1984 movie, A Christmas Story, but with a twist...

Jasper Whitlock is a ten-year-old boy who is living in Indiana with his half-brother Edward and their foster parents Carlisle and Esme. Jasper, already grumpy from the cold weather (he's originally from Texas) and being ignored by the pretty neighbor girl Mary Alice, decides that the only thing he wants for Christmas is a Replica Stonewall Jackson Civil War Confederate Rifle BB gun. But everyone from Carlisle and Esme to his school teachers to Santa says 'You'll shoot your eye out!' What is Jasper going to do?!

I should be posting the first chapter within the first few days of December.

Official Pics

Okay. So, here are the "official" character pics for Psychic.

Carrie:

Cody:
Steph:

Alison:

Benson Twins:

(Eugene)
(...and Jasper. And no, this did not have anything to do with the whole Twilight thing.)

The Professor:
Alexandria:
Cynthia:
Holly-Elizabeth:
Oliver:
Alexander:
Cassandra:
Bridge:
Well, here's what I've got right now. Tell me what you think, I can't read your minds. I leave that to Steph.

For Those of You Who Want to Read it...

Wow! I just installed a map for the blog, to see where you guys are all coming from. There's Germany, Slovenia, Brazil, Czech Republic, Finland--that's pretty darn cool.

So anyway, I'm about 52 pages (MicrosoftWord) into Psychic, and the plot bunnies are biting me in the butt. One word for you guys: plot. It's a serious pain in the buttinsky, believe you me. If you want to read it, then go to my LiveJournal page; it's on there.

In the meantime, more boring banners, because I can't seem to stop making them:

(TAPS: When 'home just isn't good enough.--cheesy, I know, but it was like 1 in the morning; I got bored.)

(T.A.P.S. Transylvanian Academy of Psychic Senses)

(She just doesn't LOOK homicidal--Carrie.)

Psychic Update/Covers

Another update. The first 5,000 words have been written. So far it's all about Bridge at the IPS (International Police Squadron), but it's turning out much better than expected. I even have a great bomb-diffusing scene. I finished the book cover (early draft, anyway) and I'm waiting for it to get to the good part. Here's some more posters (since you're all sick to death of them by now):

(No. 1: my first draft; not using this one much)
(No. 2: not using this one much either. It looks like the cover to a museum guidebook.)
(No. 3: yeah, I'm using this one.)

Up 'N Running

Psychic has a go!

I just finished writing the first 1300 words for Psychic, and it's going great. If you remember, I'm writing this for NaNoWriMo, and I've been on partial brainfreeze for the past six months. Oh, and here are a few banners I made; just to give you a feel for the characters (nudge, nudge; wink, wink).

(Never trust a teenage Welsh DJ/Auto mechanic with telepathic powers. Steph Thompson: Pink Sector Rep.)


(NaNoWriMo '08. When the dead won't stay dead...grab some unruly teenagers with supernatural powers living in a remote academy in Transylvania. Psychic.)
(When faced with a British acting prodegee whose hobbies include Shakespeare and quoting Douglas Adams...RUN. James Manson: Yellow Sector Rep.)
(As leader, I promise to: defend the academy...save the world...and keep James out of the cupcakes. Cody Parkani: Red Sector Rep.)
(If you think your life is a pain...try being a teenaged psychic who sees dead people. Carrie Blake: Grey Sector Rep.)
(Psychic...mechanic...brilliant...hungry. Bridge Carson: Green Sector Rep.)
(When you've an eye for watercolors, a famed muffin stash, and telekenetic powers...you've got just about everything. Alison Hollox: Blue Sector Rep.)

Use the banners; support Psychic!

Sarah Palin Disney Trailer

I've posted this before, but it got deleted, so here it is again--my opinion of Palin.

Twilight Trailer Spoof

For those of you who read my "Breaking Dawn" post, this is now my opinion of the series...but I like this one better. This is the kind of stuff I write in my fanfics...sort of.

NaNoWriMo

My amazing cousin emailed me this. It looks incredibly cool! I'm definitely doing it; you guys should check it out:

NaNoWriMo

Define "Geek"

Okay. So, it's come to my attention that I am a fairly odd girl. Yes, I know; oh the shock! I take three foreign languages, I'm not good with kids, I think the mass majority of guys are about as intriguing as bricks (not that intriguing), and a abhor cell phones. In fact, I've never sent a text message in my life. I like books more than people, and computers more than phones. For Christmas I asked for a food processor. I don't give a broken toaster about who's on American Idol, but I'd sooner eat glue than miss the newest episode of Stargate Atlantis (I never liked Star Trek that much, but Stargate is as good as it gets, believe me. If you don't, just go to GateWorld; then you will.) I believe I can be summed up in one word:

Geek.

I hear you cry; a geek?! Inconceivable! Not so. In fact, being a geek is way cool. You know more about computers than most of your peers, you're smarter than most of your peers, and know how to spell...or maybe that's just me.

Anyway, a lot of geeks are very into scifi; but what some of you don't know, is that not all of us go to Star Trek conventions, or go around spouting lines from Obi Wan. No, we come in groups. My group? I'm a GateGeek--or Gater, as some would have it. (English Translation: GateGeek/Gater: someone is absurdly obsessed with all things Stargate. Possess a certain knowledge of space, technobabble, and wormhole physics.)

We're also pretty darn loyal. For example: Amanda Tapping (known to all Gaters as the lovely Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter, from SG-1) just got her own TV show, Sanctuary. Now, all of us are pretty proud of Amanda, and have been following all the news about the show, watching the behind-the-scenes stuff, and being over-all supportive fans. When the show premiers on Oct. 3, I can pretty much guarantee that about 70-80% of the viewers will be GateGeeks.

Now, despite what many, many people may thing, Stargate has an actual science to it. For example: all of us Gaters have a basic understanding of wormhole physics (even me, the one who sucks really badly at all things scientific and mathematical), such facts as:

1. The purpose of a Stargate is to maintain a stable wormhole for galactic travel, providing almost instantaneous transport from one 'gate to another.2. A wormhole can only be maintained for 38 minutes, unless powered by an almost unlimited power source, such as a black hole or, in some cases, a fully-charged ZPM (zero-point module).
3. The wormhole is powered on one side only, and can transmit matter from that side only. It does not act as a two-way transport, it is unidirectional. You can, however, communicate through radios, or video, such as a VHF band.4. The way that a Stargate transmits matter is by breaking it down (or, demolecularizing) and transmitting the matter through the wormhole to the other side of the 'gate. As Peter Grodin--a tech on Atlantis--put it, when a puddle jumper (ship) was stuck in the Stargate: 'The Stargate transmits matter in discrete units. The front half of the ship cannot rematerialize until the whole ship has crossed into the event horizon. The Stargate is essentially waiting for the contiguous components -- meaning the Jumper and everyone inside -- to enter completely before it can transport them.'

In English: the 'gate will only transport things in one piece.

5. Solar flares are one of the things that will screw will 'gate travel. A solar flare is capable of interfering with the wormhole, sometimes causing accidental time travel, whether it be thirty years into the past, or 47,000 years into the future. It can be reversed, however, by going through the 'gate at the time of another solar flare, but the calculations are extremely delicate, and it has to be a certain solar flare.
There you go, a crash course. There are a few 'sites to learn a few more tidbits, such as the wonderful and amazing GateWorld, as well as a Wikipedia article on the Stargate itself. Oh, and one more thing: there are two galaxies that Stargate has shown to have 'gates--the Milky Way Galaxy (yes, that's us) and the Pegasus Galaxy (where Atlantis is located). The 'gates look different, even though they were built by the same race (the Ancients). Here's a look:

A Pegasus 'Gate......and a Milky Way 'Gate.

I'll be preaching about it again sometime soon.

Breaking Dawn

Last night I went to the Breaking Dawn midnight release party--and I've gotta say, I prefer the Harry Potter ones. When it comes to HP, Borders really knows how to throw a party, but for Stephenie Meyer books? I'm wishing I'd just gone to WalMart or something...

Out of habit, I stayed up all night (of course; what else is the point of going to the midnight party?) and I wish I had just gone to bed and read later. Of course, I was so out of it that I only got about 530 pages in TEN HOURS. Usually, I could've gotten at least another hundred in there, but, there you go. Still got another two hundred to go, so... I'll take a break. I'm leaving it for another day or two. Just thought I'd complain and mention that I'm not looking forward to the two-week break until the next SGA episode (SG geek that I am).

Cat and Mouse

Well, I got a LOT of editing done at Girl's Camp this week. I printed out every story of mine (no FF) but one and edited all of it. Three times. I guess that's what happens when you have too much time on your hands.

Anyway, I got a nasty little homecoming present yesterday.

When Dad picked me up from the Stake Center, he told me that he was late picking me up because he was busy cleaning up a mess in the living room. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Starlight? [meaning our near-Bulimic cat]
Dad: Yeah, but not the usual mess. This one was in two halves with some guts in between.
Me:...he caught a mouse?
Dad: Yup. Sometime during the night, and it was a real mess.

So, I get home, and I'm there for a little while when I look up at the stairs and Chris is there, at the end of the hallway, and he says, "Oh, wow. There's another mouse in here!" So, we grab the two cats, and Tigerlily, our fat n' lazy brown tabby, grabs the mouse by the tail and runs into the kitchen with it. Only, I get a good look at the 'mouse' when she does.

It's not a mouse--It's my hamster, Fisk.

So, I ran after the cat and yelled upstairs, "Somebody check my hamster cage, NOW!" I'm already cornering Lily by the time Mom says, "Oh, crap. The cage is empty!" So I move the chair Lily is hiding under and try to grab her. She let's go of Fisk and tries to grab him again, but I swat her over to my sister, who grabs her. Fisk runs off, but, after a little game of cat and mouse (bad choice of words, sorry) I grab him and put him back in the hamster cage.

I don't think it's necessary to say what had happened to poor Michael the night before.

Book List 2

Okay, here's the latest from the Writer's Desk:

Stargate Atlantis: Halcyon ***
When it comes to the people of the alien world Halcyon, might makes right in every situation. But the government is corrupted and falling apart. Colonel Sheppard is given the green light from Atlantis to run negotiations on his own--but dismantling the planet's monarchy system isn't really what anyone had in mind. To add to the 'weirdness,' on Halcyon, the Wraith aren't feared--they're hunted.
Stargate Atlantis: Casualties of War ****
Colonel Sheppard and his team head to a new world, populated by two peoples: the Nistra, and the Falnori, who are fighting over the Stargate and the mines. Dr. Weir offers to help them negotiate a treaty, but things aren't running very smoothly--and to add to an already-rough day, the Great Hall has been raided--again. Both people suspect each other, but Sheppard and the team have other ideas.
Stargate Atlantis: Blood Ties ***
Sheppard and the team head to the SGC back on Earth for an emergency meeting: the possibility of a Wraith on Earth. Sheppard teams up with FBI agent Rebecca Larance, and SG-1's Dr. Daniel Jackson, and the three of them head to war-torn Iraq to check out a few leads, which lead them to startling and disturbing discoveries.
Stargate Atlantis: Reliquary ***
Major John Sheppard & co. head to a lab--possibly Ancient (gasp!)--and discover a possible Ancient who may be able to help them on Atlantis. But before they leave, strange things begin to happen, and Sheppard's people begin to attack each other. Leaving Sheppard and McKay to rot in the lab, the evil not-so-Ancient takes the brainwashed Lanteans and their 'jumper (puddlejumper, a ship) back to Atlantis. Sheppard and McKay have to get back to Atlantis and rescue the city--preferably before Sheppard drops dead of a DNA-mutating virus Dr. Evil gave him.
Outcast by Michelle Paver ****
[BOOK 4 OF THE 'WOLF BROTHER'/CHRONICLES OF ANCIENT DARKNESS SERIES]
Torak's Soul Eater mark is discovered and he is cast out of Raven Clan, made an outcast and hunted by all the clans. But he has a more pressing problem: the Viper Mage is out to get him and the Fire Opal, and he needs to stop her...at all costs.
Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder ***
Yelena, convicted [and guilty, mind you] of 1st degree murder, is given a choice: execution, or a position as the Commander's food taster in a land of deceit ad treason. She chooses food taster [no, really?!] and is trained by Valek, the Commander's top assassin. Of course, there just has to be romance [of all the genres, why?] but all in all, a good book. Lots of plotting and conspiracy. Warning, though; Yelena's memories and flashbacks are violent/somewhat disturbing.
Magic Study by Maria V. Snyder **
Not as compelling as Poison Study. Yelena goes to Sitia, the land of her birth, to meet her family for the first time and to learn magic. But as she learns, everything is put in danger, and she must be careful not to slip up--or she, and countless others, will lose their lives and be snuffed. (See? Aren't my sumeries fun? I could get a job like this...)
Mangler of Malibu Canyon by Jennifer Colt ***
Twin sisters and PI's Kerry and Terry McAfee are at it again. Their freakish Aunt Reba calls them to inform them that she's found a decapitated body in her Turkish rug, and when the girls show up--along with the police--so does Cousin Robert...with the head belonging to the body and no knowledge of what happened. Language, and a sort-of romance scene at the end.