Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Musings of an Irate Author

As the 'great and wise' Brandon Sanderson once said: "If you don't believe what I'm telling you, then ask yourself this: would any decent, kind-hearted individual become a writer? Of course not."

He's totally right.

Author's do not become authors to make the world a better place, okay? For the most part, we write because we like to, we need to vent, or we need an outlet for our sarcastic comments. Or a combination of all three.

We also have short tempers (well, at least I do, as well as most of the author's I've met). Irritation is something that comes easily to us, the kind that makes you throw your keyboard against the nearest wall when Microsoft Word keeps auto-correcting a word you keep typing that should not be corrected. We're time bombs where the fuse is reoccurring and inaccurate; bombs that have a tendency to blow up over and over again, therefore denying the laws of science (don't tell me you've never wondered where science-fiction authors come from).

For instance: I stayed up all of last night/morning to read a KICK-TOAST fanfic (Narnia) called Across the Worlds by Star Dragon Fire (READ IT!!!!!!) and it left off without finishing the story; she hasn't updated it! The same thing happened with emeraldteardrops' Lost Chronices of Narnia: the Beast of Witherby; she hasn't updated it in almost TWO MONTHS!*

(*Another thing about us writers: it should be noted that many of us are bleedin' hypocrites. I myself left off a few fanfics for a few months...But that's not the point!)

Yes, we may be grammar Nazi's at times. And yes, we do have a tendency to 'occasionally' abuse caffeinated beverages. In fact, we even have a nasty little habit of saying things that everyone else is thinking but no one is rude and blunt enough to actually say it.

But really, we're just a bunch of irate curmudgeons who don't know the meaning of '8 hours of sleep' and 'no caffeine'.

So, I guess the point is: UPDATE YOUR FANFICS, PEOPLE!!!

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